...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Randomize
