And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
