I can tuck mytits in my pants
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
