she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
you will always have a special place in my vag
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
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