It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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