this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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