just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize