I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
