ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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