He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Randomize