You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
