Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I had to cum in my sink.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
