Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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