...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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