I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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