ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
