Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize