Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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