are you so shy because you have an std?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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