Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
