In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize