You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
