i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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