So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
