Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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