Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I want to have your abortion
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
