im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
