I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
It's blow job season.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize
