Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
