There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
