Porn is love you can see.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Randomize
