Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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