all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
