nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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