Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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