That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
