so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How does it feel to date your dad?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
