Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
