she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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