I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
