I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
