I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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