I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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