A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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