So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
we made out on top of his cat.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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