the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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