it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
i need to put some appletini on your dick
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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