i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Green mimosas i think yes
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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