the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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