also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
