My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
