Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
