If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
