words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
