hell yes lets make some ravioli
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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