MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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