there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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